If your carriage is hijacked en route to finishing school (as carriages so often are) by flywaymen who aim to rob or kidnap you (as flywaymen so often do), this flowchart will help to define your fate.
Beware the highwaymen of the skies! Even a properly finished lady thinks dark insults at these ill-mannered men—the type of slander learned from stable lads.
Nothing puts a wrinkle in the day faster than having your carriage hijacked by flywaymen, don’t you think?
Dear Alleged Associate,
Please immediately listen to THIS which contains a top secret recorded conversation between Daniel Handler and myself, and see the attachment below, which depicts an undisclosed book cover.
The more people who are made aware of this classified information the better chance we have of keeping our secret.
With all due respect,
“The more people who are made aware of this classified information the better chance we have of keeping our secret.”
What a fine, fine piece of Lemony Snicket-ese.
Source: Lemony Snicket Library
Now remember, a lady rides sidesaddle, NOT astride. Your mother would be in hysterics at the very idea that a daughter of hers would ride a werewolf astride! Why, next you’ll be showing ankle…
A how-to for your Tuesday.